Category Archives: Musings

Write What You Know? Maybe not…

I’m often asked if I have a favourite author and the answer always changes depending on what books I’ve recently read. If asked today I’d say it was John Boyne. The three titles of his that I’ve read (The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, The Heart’s Invisible Furies, My Brother’s Name is Jessica) are each completely different, yet so brilliant in their own way. He has a talent for creating humour out of desperately difficult circumstances but without making light of that situation. Continue reading

Celebrating Canada Day All Year Long

To celebrate Canada Day I have chosen to read a Canadian authored (and published) book this weekend. (Every Little Piece of Me by Amy Jones). Every time we choose to read a Canadian published book we know there was a MADE IN CANADA team of editors, graphic designers, layout artists, publicists, printers, warehouse staff, delivery drivers and book sellers behind it.  The Canadian book industry pumps money into the Canadian economy which creates jobs and pays taxes.

And that is just the book industry.

I’m also attending a gathering  this weekend where we will wear red and wave little Canadian flags because truly, we are proud to be Canadian and know how blessed we are to live in this country. And yet next week some of us will go out and  purchase products that are produced everywhere but Canada. There’s a disconnect here.

Let’s show our Canadian pride all year long by supporting Canadian-made products whenever possible.

What Are Your Three Most Formative Books?

On my daily walks I’ve been listening to a podcast called “3 Books with Neil Pasricha”. In each episode Neil interviews an interesting, articulate, (and usually famous) person and they discuss the three books that have been the most formative in that person’s life. The book choices spark some really interesting conversations that often spiral in many directions.  And isn’t that what books are supposed to do?

Neil asks his guests to choose books that changed their lives in some significant way- steering them in a different direction or opening their eyes to new ideas.  Often a book from childhood is  cited as a formative book, as well as one from their early adult years. I’ve discovered some amazing titles by listening to these interviews. I’ve also spent  time considering what my own three most formative books would be.

I’ve always been an avid reader. In my childhood home we could choose to read or do chores. It was a no-brainer for me. (Thanks mom, for turning me into a reader.) But selecting just three books over my lifetime is hard. The following are the first ones that jump to mind. By tomorrow it might be an entirely different list. Continue reading

Messy First Draft

It’s done, that messy first draft of my first full length novel for an adult audience. I’ve lost track of when I began the journey, it was at least 3 years ago, probably more.  Now I’m smoothing the rough edges, massaging it, trying to get a sense of whether it works as a whole and is not just a bunch of disconnected scenes. Does it even reveal the story I set out to tell?

When it’s as polished as I can make it I’ll ask for feedback from my writing critique group. Their responses will likely give me more to think about, probably resulting in additional rewriting. And that’s when the really challenging part begins; finding an agent and/or a publisher. My connections are in the world of children’s literature. This is a whole new arena.

Running just below the surface is that inner battle I constantly face – is this the best use of my time? Of my life? Will this book even see the light of day, and if it does, will reading it engage, entertain and be thought-provoking for its intended audience? Continue reading

On becoming Mother-of-the-Bride

At any given time we can each describe ourselves with a number of different labels. In my life I was first called daughter, sister and niece. Then I became friend, student, girlfriend, fiancé, teacher, wife, aunt, mother, author. Now I can add one more, at least for a short time: mother-of-the-bride.

Danny and Dani’s engagement photo

Mother-of-the-bride. What is my role in my daughter’s wedding preparations? At one time a wedding was an event where the parents of the bride (and lesser so the groom) threw a party to invite their friends to celebrate in the marriage of their daughter.  Now brides and grooms have taken over the planning and the tendency is to throw themselves a celebration, possibly with some help from the parents. This change probably came about when couples began choosing to live together before marrying – often for years – so the wedding is more of a formality, a chance for the couple to declare their love and intention to remain together, always. They’ve already created a home and life together which is different than it once was. As the mother-of-the-bride I look forward to the parties, the planning, the preparation  (I surprised myself by embracing the wedding dress shopping!) but my role has certainly become more of a background player than it would have been in years gone by. Continue reading

Consistent, Persistent & Insistent

In the research I’ve been doing on trans youth, I’ve discovered that one of the ways professionals recognize a transgender child is if they have been consistent, persistent and (possibly) insistent on their cross-gender identification.

This list of rhyming words came back to me predawn this morning as I lay in bed dealing with my wide-awake cat. (Jim has dubbed her ‘Cat Annoyance’). She has a very sweet nature, is loving and affectionate, but not at appropriate times!

Too early every day she starts to head-butt, purr loudly and clamour all over me.

You slept all day yesterday,” I growl at her. “It’s my turn to sleep now .” I drop her to the floor, but she consistently, persistently and insistently jumps back up and starts the routine again. If I lock her out of my room she cries (yup, you guessed it ) consistently, persistently and insistently at the door.

It’s a good list of words, helpful for gender therapists and trans youth. It’s also very descriptive of my cat.

Has anyone found a solution to  silence an early-waking cat? (And no, please don’t suggest I get up earlier!)

 

Season of Symbols

I posted the following message years ago but I think it bears repeating…
I’ve never been much of a ‘Christmas’ person. There are just too many expectations at this time of year and most of these things I’m not good at. If I had my way, I’d ‘unplug the Christmas machine’ and create simple, family-centered traditions that wouldn’t include shopping malls or racing from one event to another. However, when it comes to Christmas, I don’t have my way.
 But….
A couple of years ago I came across a list of Seasonal Strategies written by Harold Rosen who was then the minister of the North Shore Unitarian Church. With this list, Harold invites us to “look behind the all-too-familiar things, and see the Larger Reality they represent.” I review this list at the start of each Christmas season and I’m now far more successful at keeping my “mental and spiritual health intact.”
I offer Harold’s list here, an early Yuletide gift for anyone who takes the time to read my blog.
May your ramp-up to Christmas be only as frantic as you wish it to be.
Season Of Symbols
Gifts – they are more than stuffed boxes covered with shiny paper and ribbons; they are tangible tokens of all those thoughtful things we wanted to ‘do’ for our loved ones and friends, all year long, but never got around to it.
Cards – the are more than donations to Hallmark and overtime pay for the postal service; they are humble hints of the much we’d like to say if only time, emotional strength and eloquence abounded.
Lights – they are more than electrical fire hazards and jobs for the handy-person in our midst; they conquer the darkness of season and soul with a glimpse of celestial spendour.
Carols – they are more than memory-markers and excuses for extra choir rehearsals; they are auditory proof that heaven is nigh, and that the layers of tradition can heal the layers of our pain.
Angels – they are more than plastic ornaments on trees… they are those whispers we hear just in time, saying “you have what it takes.’ ‘Good deeds can be fun.’ ‘Things pass, but Love abides’ and ‘all will turn out well, despite appearances.’
Happy Holidays!