Category Archives: Musings

Finding God on the Beach

Shortly after my father passed away I took my daughter – who was about 5 at the time – to the cemetery where he was buried. She stared at his grave, puzzled. Then she looked up at me and asked, “If Grandpa is down there, how can he also be up there?” She pointed at the sky.

I don’t know who had talked to her about the concept of heaven, but clearly she felt it was in the sky, and that was where Grandpa now resided.

I probably mumbled something about his spirit being in heaven but the truth was that my own beliefs about God and heaven were fuzzy. It took my father’s death and my daughter’s question to nudge me into finding a spiritual home that was a good fit for my family.

I found that home in the Unitarian church, a liberal religion where each member is encouraged to seek out beliefs that feel true and right for them, so now I am always on the lookout for descriptions of God that fit with my own notion of what God is. I was on a Maui beach when I stumbled across the following passage from Signals, by Joel Rothchild . So fitting.

“God is present everywhere, so we are all collectively part of God. It is as if we are all infinitesimally tiny grains of sand on a giant beach, and the beach is God and we each have a responsibility to polish our own grain of sand so the beach is as radiant as possible.”

And here is another one by Forrester Church, from Everyday Miracles.

“The power which I cannot explain or know or name, I call ‘God’. God is not God’s name. God is my name for the mystery that looms within and arches beyond the limits of my being. When I pray to God, God’s answer comes to me from within, and not beyond. God’s answer is ‘Yes’, not to the specifics of my prayer but in response to my hunger for meaning and peace.”

Ah, yes.

And now I am off to ‘polish my grain of sand’.

Passion

One of my passions – primates

Imagine how different our encounters with new acquaintances would be if we started the conversation with “What are you passionate about?” instead of “What do you do?” (for a living)

For the lucky ones, the answer would be the same, (they are passionate about their work) but for most others ~ their faces are bound to light up with this opportunity to talk about the things that they love, whether it’s cooking, playing sports, bee-keeping, watching old movies, working out, volunteering, gardening, throwing theme parties, travelling or restoring old cars. They will launch into an enthusiastic description, and they’ll immediately like you for asking the question, and they’ll like you even more if you really listen to the answer.

Another passion - Coola and Grinder of the Grouse Mountain Wildlife Refuge

Another passion – Coola and Grinder at the Grouse Mountain Wildlife Refuge

I’m one of the lucky ones. My careers and passions have always been one and the same, first teaching, then parenting and finally writing.

Now I’m pursing passions that are not career related, like travel, and wildlife conservation. Ask me about my recent gorilla trek. I’ll try to reign in my excitement, but it will be hard.

So the next time you are at one of those mix-and-mingle kind of events, remember to ask… what do you love to do? With any luck there will be time left over for you to talk about your passions too.

Why Love One But Eat the Other?

Hats off to The Vancouver Humane Society for this powerful and thought-provoking ad campaign. Their position is that any movement toward eating less meat is to be encouraged. In other words, a heavy meat-eater who reduces meat consumption or a ‘flexitarian’ who becomes a vegetarian or a vegetarian who becomes a vegan should all be applauded. They are all on the same path and they are all making a difference.

Bliss!

Yesterday I completed a 30-day yoga challenge – one yoga class every day for 30 consecutive days. And it was a challenge… just to get myself to the yoga studio some days! But I’m glad I did it. The practise of yoga is not only good for physical well-being, but mental and emotional well-being too. There would be days I’d arrive ‘on the mat’ feeling frazzled or out of sorts but by the time the class was over I’d be feeling blissful once again.

Breathe…..

The Pause Button

My yoga teacher looked uncharacteristically rattled as she settled herself onto her mat.

“I’ve learned a lot in these past few days,” she said. “It’s not what life presents to us, it’s how we react to it, how we move through it.” She sat quietly for a moment, preparing herself for the practise, and then she looked up and said, “How many of you wish there was a pause button for life?”

Thirty hands shot up, and there was laughter as we all recognized exactly what she was trying to say.

Later on, after some vigorous yoga, we moved into a child’s pose, which is a resting pose. “This is the pause button in yoga,” she said.

That started me thinking… I’ve recently read that introverts are people who need down time to recharge their batteries for the next ’round’ of life, as opposed to extroverts, who regain their energy through stimulating activities. Identifying as an introvert based on this definition, I love the idea of the ‘pause button’. We each have to find our own personal ways to ‘pause’ our lives. I suspect meditation is a form of ‘pausing’ for people who practise it. Restorative yoga works for me, as does reading the newspaper with a cup of coffee on a quiet Saturday morning, or walking alone on a forest trail.

Where do you find your pause button?

Book Club Junkie

That’s where the book club comes in. You are not alone with your reading experience. You get the chance to share how the story made you feel, why you connected with it, why you didn’t.

I am a book club junkie.

There. I’ve said it.

It’s an addiction – I belong to three. Each one has a different focus. In one we read only young adult fiction. In another we are a group of men and women, bringing our different perspectives to stories. The third is a large, social group of female friends. In each group we enjoy the fact that the book choices encourage us to read books we might otherwise have missed.

“Reading is the sole means by which we slip, involuntarily, often helplessly, into another’s skin, another’s voice, another’s soul.” — Joyce Carol Oates

Through book club discussions we learn more about ourselves and our book club friends. The themes of the books are springboards for conversation, but the dialogue become so much more as we chew away on the ideas that the books present. We reflect on different ways of living, on different circumstances, on different reactions to events. We are challenged to open our minds to other ways of being. Without a chance to discuss books, the ideas they present have much less impact. I usually like a book even more after the discussion as I learn how other people connected to it or why they felt it was so meaningful.

Book club evenings are the most stimulating ones of the month. They are also the most fun.

Documentia Epidemic!!

Yikes!

Are you at risk?? Here’s the description:

“You can help prevent documentia – an epidemic that sees millions of people around the world taking photos and making videos of things rather than truly experiencing the moment. This illness compels them to snap shots of restaurant meals before tucking in to enjoy the chef’s creations. They feel the urge to film birthday cakes instead of simply watching the candle flames go out in a puff. They tweet about being at parties instead of truly interacting with the other people present. At its most debilitating, this illness makes people think they can’t sit down at a dinner table without checking their phones every couple of minutes. Entire families are at risk of this affliction…”

(Philip Solman and Debbra Mikaelsen, Publisher/Editor Edible Vancouver Magazine)

Yes, this is tongue-in-cheek, and because the writers care passionately about food (and families) they go on to encourage their readers to turn off their phones during meals. I worry that our electronic devices are creating an even worse epidemic, a disease which causes us to completely lose our ability to make polite conversation. I’m not sure what I’d call this affliction (small-talkitis?) but I could see the symptoms of it as I stepped onto the gondola to head back down Grouse Mountain on a recent May morning. Continue reading →

Going Meatless

What do Ghandi and McCartney have in common?

Vegetarianism.

For the 20+ years that I have been a vegetarian I have tried not to push my views on anyone else. I felt it was a personal choice, and everyone has to make up their own minds about how they want to live and eat. But times have changed. Most of us now know the devastating effects of factory-farming on the environment. Many people are adopting eating practices like Meatless Monday, or Vegan before Six. It’s a start, and definitely a shift in the right direction.

While doing some research I was delighted to come across a list of quotes by many of the world’s greatest thinkers who are also vegetarians – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Mahatma Ghandi, Abraham Lincoln and Albert Einstein – to name just a few. There are also some famous entertainers – Paul McCartney, Richard Gere, and even Alex Baldwin.

I am in good company.

“If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian.”
― Paul McCartney

“You have just dined, and however scrupulously the slaughterhouse is concealed in the graceful distance of miles, there is complicity.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

“As custodians of the planet, it is our responsibility to deal with all species with kindness. People get offended by animal rights campaigns. It’s ludicrous. It’s not as bad as mass animal death in a factory.” Richard Gere

“Every time we sit down to eat, we make a choice: Please choose vegetarianism. Do it for animals. Do it for the environment and do it for your health.” Alec Baldwin

“To my mind, the life of a lamb is no less precious than that of a human being. I should be unwilling to take the life of a lamb for the sake of the human body.” Mahatma Gandhi Continue reading →

Writing Pain

The theme of my current novel-in-progress is grief. Each morning when I re-enter the world of my characters I have to delve back into their pain, and it’s really hard. I wish I was writing about joy. That would bring lightness to my life, but that’s not the story that’s calling to me right now. I know that the writing will get easier towards the end as my characters work through their grief, and, (hopefully) find meaning in it but here in the middle it’s agony, which is exactly what grief is.

“No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.” (Robert Frost)

I struggle on, and in doing so I learn, for in the end that is why I write.

I loved you the most

To my dear daughters,

Years from now, when I am gone, I want you each to believe that I loved you the most. Because I do.

I know, a person might think you can only love ONE person the most, but once you have children you discover how that is so not true. You may not fully understand this until you have children of your own.

A friend once told me the story of how she was in a car with her three brothers on their way to their mother’s memorial service. It was an emotional day, and a time for sharing secrets. My friend told her brothers, “I have always felt guilty because it was clear that Mom loved me the most. I was her only daughter.” Continue reading →

Shelley Hrdlitschka